Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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