It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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