Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Its about making memories worth repressing
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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