And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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