Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like eating out sand paper
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize