you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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