Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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