This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize