the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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