We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize