Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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