Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize