drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize