After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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