and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize