apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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