Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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