I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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