My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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