Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize