It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
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Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
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If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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