That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
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so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
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The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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