my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize