Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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