True but thats because hes a fetus.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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