i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize