the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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