You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
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I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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