i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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