We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
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Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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