i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize