great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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