You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize