she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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