I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize