If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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