you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
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Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
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Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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