hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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