don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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