I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize