It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
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There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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