She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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