Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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