Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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