no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize