Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize