Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize