bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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