how can u be prego again
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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