this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
dude. I can hear the air.
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